Don't Sweat It.

But if (and when) you do, you're not alone.

There's something about New York that inspires so much beauty, art, music, philosophy, and all of these things take passion. In the summer, that much passion conjures a sweaty demographic, moving madly through the city, glistening and glowing. Not exactly a pregnant glow, or this kind either, but a glow that reflects the haziness of summer with 8 million best friends, living in close proximity.

Lesson #28: Embrace the sweat: a thin film of it will cover you at all times during summer, so learn to find it sexy on yourself, and others. Accept that you will often feel like a wilting flower, cowering from the sun with your fellow perennials.

Once you get past the fact that you'll always be a little sweaty in the summer, you can learn to look forward to things like taking the train (when the AC is actually working, that is). It's almost painful how cold it can get, but I love it - and as I've said before, moderation is overrated and ultimately kind of lame.

So wipe your brow, roll up your sleeves, don't worry about that glisten because you don't have time for worry, you've got a lot of living to do. Besides, people find it pretty sexy - not that you have a choice.

I have always depended on the kindness of hot, sweaty strangers.

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

....is not a problem for me, now that I live alone.



In fact, I've had quite the opposite problem of too many cooks. This weekend marked the momentous occasion of the first time I've cooked a meal since moving back in September. You didn't read that incorrectly. The proverbial first time.

Sure, I'd prepared meals that didn't require cooking, but I literally went over 6 months without cooking a true meal. And it felt amazing when I finally did. Cathartic, even (more of a first meal feeling than last supper, though).

Lesson #27 when moving to a big city: Cooking can be infinitely more satisfying than eating at the countless delicious restaurants this city offers, especially after such a long break. Take a look here for great documentation of this fact. This is a bit ambitious, with the authors living in Brooklyn off $30 in groceries between the two (this is also not a typo).

Pictured below is the simple, yet utterly delicious, meal I prepared. I still don't have many cooking ingredients, or certain utensils (ever tried draining pasta via one slotted spoon? Quite time consuming.) I'm telling you, though, this was so much more satisfying than any other meal I could've possibly found in the city, so I would highly encourage you to not take a 6 month hiatus from cooking. (however, I also have to point out that the food I eat at work makes dining out difficult, because it's so unbelievably good.)

penne with olives, garlic, oil, red pepper and arugula

But until I learn how to make a decent non dairy based frozen dessert, I'm sticking with Lula's Apothecary. Self control is a limited natural resource!

A Slight Discomfort

The other night, I had the privilege of seeing the Hold Steady two times in a night. Life was good. Or, rather, incredible.

The only issue was that I got really into the show, and somehow my gum ended up in my hair (hey, it happens to the best of us). I was able to ascertain that it was indeed my gum, and not a random concert-goer's. I mean, I love other Hold Steady fans...but I have to draw the line somewhere. I noticed the gum while it was still freshly fused with my hair (which had also been misted with beer and decorated with glitter, naturally). My immediate priority was to watch the show instead of tend to my hair, which resulted in a tangled mess.

By the time the second show ended, I was deliriously happy, but also in a bit of a predicament. There I was, in Williamsburg at 2am, gum in my hair and wandering around like a lost puppy. Luckily, my friend Ryan was with me and talked some sense into me. I was ready to find the nearest pair of scissors and end it (the gum in hair dilemma, of course).

Ryan came through as he always does, with two simple words: Peanut Butter. "But I'm not hungry," I declared triumphantly. He sighed and cleverly explained that Peanut Butter will get gum out of hair, which I hadn't remembered in my time of distress. This taught me the following:

Lesson #26: No matter where you're living, conventional wisdom will help you out when you're....stuck. There are simple fixes that are easy to forget if you haven't had to employ them since you were five years old (seriously, how does a 25 year old get gum in her hair? Oh, maybe drinking had to do with it). The important thing is to think calmly in times of distress and don't jump to assuming the worst. Sure, some conventional wisdom is cliche and no longer relevant, but I'm personally vouching for Peanut Butter's effectiveness.

I would've been really upset if I woke up and realized I had chopped some of my hair off at 2am, but instead I awoke with the delicious scent of Peanut Butter surrounding me and my pillow. And also, Oh My God does it make your hair silky smooth. I now have a favorite new hair product, and it's Peanut Butter (hey, at least I'm not this guy.)

I'm glad that I didn't have a roommate to judge me - but now that I've made the gum mishap public, feel free to judge. But if you haven't tried Peanut Butter in your hair, I will leave you with (the oh so cliche): don't knock it 'til you try it.

The Search Continues

Lesson #25: Some things are out of your control, and you simply need to learn and accept it. Literally, let go and enjoy the ride! Unless you're stuck on the tracks, surrounded by people, and the air conditioning shuts off. Then I really have no advice, as I haven't yet figured out how to not freak out in those instances.

Urban Walkabouts

I can liken much of my experience living in NYC to being on a Walkabout, though I didn't realize this before Lost introduced the John Locke storyline, I'll admit. Life imitates art, no? My life has essentially become an Urban Walkabout, learning to survive on my own in the city. Long, solitary walks have become the meat and potatoes (seitan and fennel?) of my sanity.

Lesson #24: Start getting used to doing things alone, and learn to enjoy it if you already don't! This may sound extreme to those without an inclination towards introversion, but that's the beauty of this city - even when you're alone, you're surrounded by millions. Basically, you're never alone in New York.

I think a lot of people are afraid to spend long amounts of time with only their thoughts (and perhaps some good music). Some of my most brilliant thoughts come from random walks where I have no social constructions to worry about and am able to simply observe life being lived.

Plus, what better way to explore the city than setting out on long walks, with maybe this guide, and planning a day to really get to know one neighborhood? Some of my favorite days I've spent in the city were ones when I woke up and decided to go to a random spot on a whim, discovering things I'd never have found otherwise.

Of course many things are more enjoyable with good company, which I'm very lucky to have here. Now that I'm living alone (what perfection!), I appreciate my time with others that much more - yet I understand how closely my sanity is tied to having time alone.

Disturbia

We gotta stay positive!

I'm currently in the eye of the storm, happily sandwiched between two Hold Steady shows. Last night was the Hold Steady's kickoff night of their tour, held in Ardsley, New York. The show was absolutely incredible, and held in probably the most interesting venue I've seen them in: Life, the place to be.

Though Ardsley is just an hour north of the city, the train stop was one of the most desolate areas - we were told it'd be "so easy to get a cab" from the stop to the venue.

It wasn't.

After departing the train, we waited and waited in at the train stop calling at least 10 taxi companies. We finally realized there was literally one cab working that night. There are few things I like to do more than talk to other Hold Steady fans, which we did while waiting, but my anxiety began to wear on me.

We wandered to the only building around to ask the security guard if she had any tips. After seeing a few ominous signs, we realized that we were waiting directly next to a mental institution.

Though I'm not a smoker, I thought deeply about taking up the habit at that moment given the stress of the situation. Lost in Ardsley, next to a mental institution, all while possibly missing the Hold Steady? I can only handle so much!

Luckily, I didn't need to start up a new habit, or check myself into the mental institution. The lone cab made trips back and forth, so we made it to our destination just as my sanity was about to break. Through the stress, I did learn one major lesson:

Lesson #23 when moving to a big city: Suburbs are similar where ever you go - just because they're outside a big metropolitan area doesn't mean they're going to be any cooler, or have more than one taxi per 5 mile radius. I honestly assumed that any place within a couple hours of NYC must have either public transit available, and at least a small fleet of cabs. Not the case.

I would say the moral here is to plan in advance and have your transportation figured out when traveling outside of the city. Or just never leave New York City, I suppose.

Lighten Up, Sunshine!

(Laugh Yoga. In case you're wondering, yes, I've done it.)

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."

-Mark Twain

Oh, joyous day! Maybe not for all New Yorkers, as many were surprised, then upset, by this. April Fool's Day here at work (wait, wait, here) is akin to Christmas, without the excess consumerism and day off from work. April Fool's is full of fun surprises and laughs, and I wouldn't want to spend it anywhere else, no joke.

Lesson #22: If all else fails, keep your sense of humor! A sense of humor and ability to laugh at yourself is such an important quality, especially when you're living in a place that is often humorless. Take breaks every once in a while and read or watch something funny, and above all else, see the humor in the mundane.

Since I'm a new resident of Brooklyn, I like to ironically keep up on all things hipster by reading the following:

:(

Rosa DeLauro

hip pupps

and of course, this classic

Lastly, I may have mentioned my participation in the annual No Pants Subway Ride, but this today we decided to up the ante: may I present, the No Underwear Subway Ride.

Elders? Yes, Listen to Them.

Gather round for storytime...

"You're a very attractive young woman, and I imagine you take many men home." (insert awkwardest pause imaginable, as an 85 year old couple stare me down). I warily glace back, unsure whether to laugh, deny, or simply shrug off the accusation.

"And you should,"she says to me, giving me the kind of glance usually reserved for construction workers cat-calling women on the street. "There's no reason to be tied down now. I mean, I had children by your age, but things are different now - you've got your whole life for those," she muses, eyes starting to glaze over as she is transported to a golden age of remembrance (or perhaps some LSD related flashback, it wasn't entirely clear).

After recalling her glory days, apparently full of one night stands and salacious affairs, her husband timidly cut in with a new topic, to my immense relief.

The jury's still out on whether her advice about men is true, but their non-relationship advice was astounding.

The couple I'm referring to were potential landlords in my apartment search last week. Though they had incentive to paint a perfect picture of their building, they were refreshingly frank with me. This may seem overly simple, the advice that stuck with me the most is as follows:

Lesson #21 when moving to a big city: No matter how much you like an apartment the first time, you must see it a second time before deciding anything. Needless to say, with my first apartment in NYC I didn't see it at all, and the second one I saw just once...so clearly the third time's a charm (and if you know me well, you probably know how both of those went...leaving it at that.) It's practically impossible to really see any flaws the first time, to know which types of questions to ask, and to simply give yourself the chance to think through what it'd be like to live somewhere.

I ended up finding a place I really like, in a great location (check out a NYTimes writeup here), and didn't sign a lease before I saw it a few times. Funny enough, it wasn't the place they showed me. I took their advice to heart I and realized that I wasn't thrilled with the space and their tendency to pry made it even less desirable. Maybe I'm more old-fashioned than an 85 year old couple, but imagining them seeing me bring anyone home is too painful a thought, whether or not they approve (read: insist).

(Update: I'm moving to Boerum Hill, Brooklyn this weekend from the West Village! Wish me luck!)

Who Says Chivalry is Dead?

She obviously wasn’t living in New York on a very snowy day, because chivalry most definitely exists on days like these.

On my walk this morning, I came upon a particularly treacherous bank of slush, ice, and perhaps alligators. This moat was most intimidating, and caused me to stand for a moment, configuring an escape. My chucks were no match for the endlessly wet wintry mix, so I was ready to turn around and head home in defeat. Suddenly, through the swirling blizzard and my slight Friday morning hangover, I noticed a figure sprinting towards me.

Normally, I would have assumed someone running towards me that quickly was trying to mug me, but for some reason (maybe it was the blood keeping my extremities warm, instead of being in my brain) I felt oddly trusting. I also knew that my chucks would never allow me to run fast enough to get away, so I accepted and awaited my fate.

Luckily, my instincts were right…my knight in shining armor (read: a regular guy in full snowsuit and boots) valiantly grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his horse. He led me through the menacing bank, fighting off icy diversions until we stood safely on the other side. Though I was shivering, my heart was fully warmed.

How could I ever repay him, I worried, remembering that I had just given my last bag of gold to the hobbit living down the street. But before I could utter a thing, the knight was galloping away. “Be well, my lady!” he proclaimed, blowing me a kiss before he hurried off to slay the dragons in Times Square and the gremlins hanging out in Hoboken. All this, just so I could get to my Palace safely. After I was given my smelling salts, and my heart finally stopped fluttering, I started thinking about the following...

Lesson #20 (which really is for those visiting the city, since the rest of us are here year round): If you want to see New Yorkers at their most chivalrous, happiest, and most cheerful, walk around on a really snowy day. It seems that the best time is early in the morning, when the snow is still pristine, people are enjoying their morning coffee, and the realization hasn’t set in that their day will be thrown off by the storm.

Also, things seem less bleak when covered in a blanket of snow – though it could be the vitamin D boost from the sun/snow reflection. Regardless the reason, I’ve never seen so many smiling faces in this city at once (not to mention dogs that have their own winter Olympics in the snow). And seriously, don’t underestimate your fellow New Yorkers’ compassion and willingness to lend a hand, physically.

I don’t know that I’ll ever see the knight in shining snowsuit again, but I’ll sleep easy knowing others like him exist – random New Yorkers looking out for each other, defying stereotypes and defeating werewolves along the way.

If you really love someone, you'll let them free

O Franz, why have you forsaken me??

Should you really let go of something you love? Or perhaps you should find a way to deal with the pain, and hopefully a way to ignore annoying cliches such as these.

Since you don't have control over so many things in life, like the sudden departure of Franz Nicolay from the Hold Steady, it's important to find things that are consistent and make you happy.

Yes, you read that correctly - Franz left the Hold Steady a few weeks ago and I think I'm finally over it. Though I did watch this video and tear up a little, I know he's on to bigger and better (actually, just....different) things.

Lesson #19: One never truly can prepare for sudden life changes like these, and living in a place like NYC makes it all the more difficult to keep the stress to a minimum. That's why you need to find a few things that make you incredibly blissful and for God's sake, hold on to them and don't let them free.

For instance, here are a few things that make me beyond happy: the fake cheese popcorn at LifeThyme, tap dancing (which apparently Franz is also into), and currently number one on my list: Crossword Sundays with my amazing pal Ryan. They're beyond fantastic, in a way that very few might understand. I look forward to it all week, am in a state of bliss during it, then the high wears off only a few days later.

Now, I'm not encouraging anyone to take up my habits (I swear, I'm not referencing drugs in any of the above) but if you want to stay sane, and learn to deal with sad changes, then find the things that make you smile. As in stop reading this blog and figure out what it is that makes you glow! Unless of course this blog is your idea of ecstasy. Then read away, my fellow logophile - I'll try to not make it another 2 weeks until your next fix.